Not Simply Close to Her
by mrpoohnminnie
Summary: S6 spoilers. Carson and Lord Grantham share a few words on the eve before a most memorable day in the life of Charles Carson and Elsie Hughes.


S6 Spoilers Ahead. Please stop reading now if you do not wish to engage in speculation.

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This story was inspired by a few of the BTS photos captured by some enterprising folks on Twitter when DA rolled into Bampton for a day or two of shooting recently. In particular, Jim and Hugh were spotted as the only gentleman sporting boutonnieres on their suit coats (as opposed to overcoats) when emerging from/heading into the church (that's right - Chelsie wedding day!). Many have concluded that Lord Grantham would be serving as the butler's best man. Though Carson's not likely to go in for a stag party, I daresay he wouldn't refuse the following. P.S. Please review my blanket legal disclaimer if that strikes your fancy.

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Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham, was not known for his perceptive nature. But that did not change the fact that he was well-attuned, at times, to his family and those that served him and his household. Since his diligent butler revealed his intentions to wed the capable housekeeper from the north, Lord Grantham took special notice of the man that made his household run like clockwork.

He knew the man plumbed fathomless depths, but it was not all that impossible to believe the butler once performed on a stage before an audience. He understood timing and theatricality, that much was clear. But it was the heart of the dignified man that intrigued the Earl of Grantham.

His eldest daughter always possessed a soft spot for the butler. He knew he had helped to calm her fears as a growing child, as a young girl on the cusp of joining society and becoming an eligible woman. He had seen the way young Sibbie gravitated to him during tea time and the little twinkle in Carson's eye that would appear.

But his love for Mrs. Hughes was at once unsurprising and unexpected. Bates has shared his own thoughts on the matter, just enough to convince the earl that their regard for each other was real, that flashes of something would appear over an occasional dinner. The story truly unfolded, as one married man imparted to the other, over the fact that the butler and housekeeper did act as a wedded couple. It was the little things – miniscule, almost invisible to the naked eye – that most would not notice. Bates, however, had seen it, having done the same for Anna – not by merely expressing platitudes or buttering toast. These were the acts of bettering one's self for their own good and for the happiness of another – that certain someone who made it all worth it.

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Full of these thoughts and a few observations of his own made over the past few months, Lord Grantham was slow to rise at the conclusion of dinner. The rest of his companions were entirely female now that Tom was in America, forcing Lord Grantham to spend more time in the drawing room after dinner. But not tonight.

Tonight the women paid no mind to the earl as they filed out of the dining room and he was glad of it.

Clearing his throat, he called out. "Carson, do you have a moment?"

The butler was overseeing the last of the serving pieces being removed from the dining room when his lordship spoke.

"Of course, my lord." From the looks of things, the earl clearly wanted a private word. The butler took care of things immediately. "Andrew, please take over for Mr. Barrow in the Drawing Room. Have him alert Mrs. Hughes to start dinner immediately. I should be down later."

The young footman was soon out the door.

"Thank you, Carson."

It had been a while since Lord Grantham had wanted to spend some time after dinner in the dining room. Despite the nerves attending him on the eve of his nuptials, Carson had the foresight to have the earl's usual nightcap at the ready. His movements were sure as he deftly poured a finger of scotch.

"Please pour another glass." The butler looked up, brows scrunched in confusion. The earl made no move to hide is amusement. "It's for you, old chap. I would like you to join me."

The butler's mouth opened then, in silent protest. "Before you say one word, Carson, I must insist. It's not every day a man gets married. I want to wish you well before tomorrow."

With his eyebrows raised as he approached the dining table, Carson appeared to both express his disfavor and resign himself to the idea of sharing a drink with his lordship.

"Please be seated. As much as it pains you, I must insist."

Charles Carson had never sat at the Grantham's dining table willingly (not even to test a chair for soundness) and he was loathed to break the mold. But the gentleman had deigned to serve as best man in his nuptials tomorrow morning. Perhaps it was the least he could do to honor the man's wishes.

"As you wish, my lord."

Lord Grantham felt his mirth building at the sight of his dignified butler lowering himself to sit at the grand table. He could see so many things flickering across the man's face. Of course, there was unease about the present situation of a man and his butler seated at the same table. But there were other things, an unease yet palpable anticipation for the following day. These were emotions, despite a healthy marriage eventually grounded in respect and a deep, abiding love, that hadn't mingled in the earl's mind on the eve of his own wedding. It intrigued him to see them on display now.

Before partaking of his favorite nightcap, Lord Grantham was quick to assure his butler. "I'm sure everything is in hand for tomorrow, Carson. You needn't worry."

"I dare say they are, my lord." Charles Carson was sincere, but he was still affected—by the evening, by the promise of tomorrow.

So many things had spiraled out of control in the buildup to his nuptials. Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes, since the announcement of their engagement, had become an object of curiosity to the entire village. He wondered how many people would appear tomorrow. The thought made his stomach tighten with nerves.

"But it is a bit strange to be the object of curiosity as opposed to the overseer of the spectacle unfolding."

Lord Grantham thought of his daughter and her well-intentioned insistence to make the whole affair quite grand. "I know it is not a consolation to say so, but I'm sure that everyone will be quite pleased tomorrow, even mama."

Another rise to his prominent brows, and the butler's unease was not yet diminishing. The drink held strongly yet delicately in his grasp was not yet consumed. The earl inwardly shook his head at the nervous man before him.

"Let us drink to your happiness, Carson. I can think of no one more deserving, besides Mrs. Hughes, of course."

At the thought of his betrothed, Carson finally caved as his features marginally softened. He raised his glass to mirror his lordship, and soon was awash with the warmth of a fine whiskey. The burn was a welcome reminder, despite the awkwardness of his current state, that this was real. Tomorrow was real.

It may be a circus, but it was a circus with the blessing of the family. Mrs. Hughes was his true family (a thought that made him inhale at the rush of excitement within him – every time). But the generosity of spirit displayed by the Crawleys was to be treasured. "Thank you, my lord. It means a great deal to me for you to say so."

The sipped in solitude for a moment, letting the amber liquid dull their senses a bit. Carson, despite his size, was perhaps a bit more affected given that it had been a while since his last meal. He was contemplative, staring at his glass as he sat ramrod straight in his chair.

The earl, for his part, casually rested his forearm on the table as he titled his glass. The man before him was not his butler, despite the formal voice and carriage. He was simply a man—a man in love.

Lord Grantham was struck by a thought that almost became a vocalized demand. As Carson took another generous swig, the earl waited until the butler was caught in his own world before inquiring.

"I never asked when you first told us of your impending marriage, Carson, but I have wondered."

The butler's reactions had slowed just slightly due to the whiskey. Carson slowly raised his eyes before his lordship asked, "How long have known of your regard for Mrs. Hughes?"

He didn't want to embarrass the man with talk of love outright, but that's what it appeared to him, having studied them since that fateful afternoon when his butler announced his intentions.

A battle commenced in Charles Carson, at the personal question and the need to identify an exact moment. His eyes widened, searching unceasingly over the ornate details of the rug at their feet, over the fine lace detail on the tablecloth.

The earl broke the silence, ruminating, "As long as that?"

Carson could have shaken his head in agreement. But even then, he knew that wasn't the whole case. It was never that simple, not entirely, prior to confessing his intentions to wed Elsie Hughes. Page after page of book after book was thumbed in the back of his mind. There were words he had set aside, words that said everything that he could not, yet it still did not fully encapsulate his thoughts, his heart. But it would have to do, for now.

"There's a quotation that comes to mind, my lord, that may explain it better than I could attempt." His lordship was intrigued, leaning somewhat forward as his butler looked across to the fireplace. Charles Carson had done the same, gazing into the small hearth in his office, after having read the wisdom he was about to impart.

"'He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began.'*"

With a small bit of theatricality, Carson let the words linger in the air before turning towards his lordship and continuing.

His head was lowered as he confessed, as if in church. "I've never been able to pinpoint the moment from whence I was not simply close to Mrs. Hughes while working together in serving this household. We are a part of each other's lives, and I value her opinion and regard above all others. I have for a very long time."

Lord Grantham raised his chin slightly, regarding the man before him. The path of love for Robert was different, but he felt a kindred spirit with his butler, as his marriage to Cora had eventually achieved such a balance. Before, there had been a business-like arrangement to it all, a charismatic albeit heartless wooing. But then that feeling—of being intertwined and happily so—came later.

For a bachelor, Carson was further along the road to wedded bliss than most probably realized. There would be problems, there always are with something worth the effort. But he was already well on his way. It takes being brave, and Carson certainly was. He was brave enough now to keep recounting the course of his love.

"The thought of stating what I feel did not seem a possibility until the last year or so. Even then, I felt I could not summon the words despite sharing most of my other thoughts with her."

"You were afraid of changing things between you."

"Afraid, my lord, for the household, for our professional partnership, for our friendship. There were many things at stake."

"But you needn't have worried," Lord Grantham concluded. The news had shocked him, and shocked them all and forced them to think of changing the running of the household, possibly without his butler and housekeeper in short order. But what a shock to the system for Carson, he realized, venturing into the great unknown with his heart on his sleeve. His respect for his butler increased in spades at the thought.

"Apparently not," the butler agreed with a tilt to his head before chuckling silently to himself. "Mrs. Hughes said she thought I would never ask to marry her."

The earl laughed heartily at the thought. Mrs. Hughes was rather forthright, and he could only imagine her calling out the butler, so afraid of change, yet so capable of rising to the challenge. To the earl, it appeared, he rose to the challenges he faced because of Mrs. Hughes.

"I dare say that sounds exactly like Mrs. Hughes, despite your attachment coming as a surprise. You're braver than most, Carson."

"I'm not sure if I agree, my lord."

"You found the courage to say what you feel, in time. It is sheer luck that you found someone as patient as Mrs. Hughes. But her patience has been a benefit to this house, as well as you. We are all very lucky indeed."

At that, the butler managed to chuckle in agreement. He thought of nothing but a pair of sparkling eyes, daring and enchanting him. They would be his source of solace and diversion on the momentous day arriving shortly. "That we are, my lord. That we are."

They sat in silence for a few moments more before the earl rose from his seat. "It will be a long, exciting day for you tomorrow. I won't keep you any longer."

Standing as well, the butler responded, "It's no trouble my lord. And…" His throat paused on the word, just as it did a few weeks before asking his lordship an important question.

"Thank you for standing with me, my lord. It is a bit unusual, but I dare say the entire day is unusual for most."

"Nonsense, Carson. Two people with great love and respect for each other are marrying. There's nothing unusual about that. It is, however, special. And I'm honoured to be a part of your special day, Carson. Truly."

The butler could only bow his head in thanks, overcome with the gratitude that his lordship and the family had supported him in his his desire to wed Mrs. Hughes.

"Good night to you, Carson. I'll see you after breakfast and not a moment before."

"As you wish, my lord. Goodnight."

The earl was happy to see his butler so affected. A life of great joy awaited him and he was very much looking forward to tomorrow.

At the sound of his lordship's retreating steps, Charles Carson stood in the dining room for a moment more. He surveyed the room as he drew a cleansing breath. A bit of the anxiety from earlier had subsided, which made him all the more intent to steal away downstairs. After all, he had one last dinner and nightcap to observe – the last of which he would share with Mrs. Elsie Hughes.

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*The quote is from _Anna Karenina_, from (I think) the 1918 Oxford University Press translation). Carson might have read that passage as or just after his feelings started to become clearer to him.

Thank you bunches for reading. I'd love to know your thoughts, so please spare a few words and review if you have the time.


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